Dear Diary

My father asked me again what I wanted for my birthday. Neither money nor a present. “Just let me join the party youth organisation,” I said.

Just as quickly, he said, “No.”

“But Dad, everyone is there. They have a very organised environment. You feel you can achieve something. If you are outside that circle, there is neither work nor bread. I don’t want to do anything without your consent. Look at us! We live in poverty. You are ill. My brothers and sisters are small. And the state of the country is plain to see. The economy is terrible. The people are unhappy. The moment I step into the youth branch, know that we will have the state behind us.”

My heroic veteran father got up, ignoring the fact that he had lost a leg. Limping, he came over to me. He looked me in the eyes and said with tears in his own:

“I will not make you an accomplice to this crime. The country is being dragged into war in broad daylight. Apart from the ones they support, there is no youth organisation, no school, no nursery left. Is this democracy? Everyone has gone mad. No!”

I loved my father very much, but I had made up my mind. Whether he allowed it or not, I had to chart my own course now. I had to do something to look after my family. I applied secretly. Now I had a job, a goal and a powerful circle. It seemed to me that my father was exaggerating a little. We were not going into any war. The party and the youth organisation were legal institutions of the state.

*****

When gambling on the future of one’s nation, one must use every trick and method of war. For example, the people must always be kept fired up; they must never cool down and think. Do not hesitate to lie. Someone is bound to believe it.

As the economic situation worsens, the people grow curious about the living conditions of prominent figures and watch them closely. Unfortunately, those in high positions do not attach much importance to this. They go on living in a way that does not at all suit the current situation. The letters I receive are full of criticism too. Fortunately, steps have been taken on this matter. A decree has even been issued recommending that prominent figures live modestly.

In matters such as the fight against the internal enemy, one must not be soft-hearted. If we had not declared war on them, they would have destroyed us. This is a life-and-death struggle. No other government is strong enough to solve this problem. Here too we see that our leader is making a greater effort than anyone to solve this problem at its root.

Unfortunately, such foul curses are uttered in the streets, on buses, in restaurants and theatres that one’s nerves are shattered. It is impossible to bear it any longer. The nation’s morale is not at all satisfactory. As for the leader, he is quite sure that no rebellion will break out in the country. “Such a thing would not even cross their minds,” he says.

*****

The first story is from the memoirs of a boy who joined the youth organisation of the Nazi party without his father’s permission in Hitler’s time, just before the Second World War, and who in the end regretted it.

The second story is from the diaries of Hitler’s propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels. Goebbels, one of the foremost leaders of Nazi Germany along with Hitler and Göring, was famous for keeping a day-by-day diary. When he took his own life after Germany’s defeat, he left behind a diary that sheds light on unknown aspects of the war. Controlling the entire media of the time, Goebbels could make millions of people believe whatever he wanted, even when the country was on the brink of ruin.

*****

Don’t you think that what is happening in our country resembles what is written in these memoirs?

Take over the field of education, set up foundations, grant tax exemptions, transfer public property free of charge and make state institutions sponsors. Instead of building new dormitories, condemn students to the dormitories of pro-government foundations and religious communities. In this way, condemn those who are not your own to misery or extinction.

With every statement, from the Central Bank’s reserves to stability and growth rates, from the discovery of natural gas to the domestic car, make Goebbels look harmless by comparison.

Plato is said to have advised rulers to lie for the good of the people. How could he have known that his advice would catch on so well and be so abused?

Nihal Olçok recently said out loud that she did not trust the reports issued by the Forensic Medicine Institute on how her husband and son were killed on 15 July, and that she might even have her son’s grave opened.

Again recently, Ali Babacan, who said “I have regrets”, admitted that years ago, despite seeing the country heading for disaster, he decided not to speak, but that he now regrets it.

You wait, you stay silent at the very times when you should speak. And now you make a statement.

How bitter, isn’t it, memories that are held back?